Discussion between my two little lovelies this morning...Jackie: "Just who does she think she is? Sleeping and ignoring me. I'll fix her..." Pappa: "No, dude...don't do it. You know, she works so hard for us...why you gotta be a douche all the time?" Jackie: Now you can just shut the hell up, old man...before I kick your ass. Imma wake that bitch up and demand her full attention, and you can't stop me..." Pappa: Look, you little shit---you wake her up and there will be hell to pay. I'm going to sit on her face to protect her..." Jackie: "bwahahaha...go ahead, sit on her face...see what happens. She'll get mad at you for waking her up, then I'll just saunter over to her and be my cute, lovable self...so go ahead...I'll sit here and watch it all unfold..." Pappa: "Come here, you little fucker...." Jackie: "HAHAHAHAHAHA===catch me...bet you can't..." <<<Fighting at the end of my bed commences>>>
Yes, I am a pet owner. I find that the best relationships I've ever been successful at have been with my pets. I dote on them. I spoil them. I am clearly a lost cause when it comes to animals in general---I love them. I have 2 lovely cats, both rescued at some point during their lives (one as a baby, and the other as an adult)...and I have adopted them both and welcomed them into my world. "Jackie Chan", who I got when he was just a wee baby, and "Big Pappa K", who came with Jackie Chan but is a much older cat...they have been awesome---kept me company, been my sounding board, made me laugh, and reminded me that some things in life deserve unconditional love that won't ever be ignored or thrown away. They are well looked after, healthy, and happy boogers. I would be lost without them.
I must say something, however. I cannot honestly think of myself as a pet owner. It's true. The reason is simple---They own me. I am their property, and they quite know it. They decide what goes on in their world, and I am a very happy and willing participant to their whim. And the cool thing is...they show me how much they appreciate my complete and total submission to them. They are affectionate to the point of annoyance sometimes---and I love it.
Lately, both of my 'boys' have taken on a more 'humanistic' approach with dealing with me. They have dialogue with each other (I shit you not) and it is almost like the big one (Pappa) is trying to reign in the little one (Jackie). They both have very defined personalities and I have witnessed on more than one occasion the reasoning and thought process they both exude when getting themselves into trouble or more aptly when one is trying to prevent the other from getting into trouble. It is hilarious. The first paragraph of this post is, I swear to God, what they were saying to each other before Pappa came over to me and sat squarely on my head and face at 5:30 this morning---and as I peered out of my paw covered eye, my Jackie was sitting off to the side with an amused look on his face...and then Pappa jumped off my face as quick as he had sat on it, and started beating the shit out of Jackie on the end of my bed (they really tear each other up...lol)
Am I hopeless? To give a voice to my pets cracks me up---but, the voice they each have is very defined and so awesome---
They own me. I am happily at their mercy. But, that won't stop me and my sick, twisted mind to give them the dialogue I am CERTAIN they would have if they could talk like humans.
Enjoy the day---love lots and eat all of your organic veggies---you know, the ones that are not genetically fucked with. Yes---more on Monsanto in my next post.
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