Dear Canada,
You began as a faithful friend, a refuge, a warm smile in a sea of frowns. Our relationship started innocent enough, and you welcomed me with open arms. Oh, your beautiful landscapes and gentle people embraced me with a sense of belonging, a sense of home. You lulled me into such a sweet state of euphoria, one that I thought I would never, ever experience anywhere else in the world (and sister, I've been around!).
You healed my wounds, taught me how to be a better person, showed me an easier, kinder way to live. I was able to recognize my faults, my shortcomings, my idiosyncrasies that set me apart from the rest---I was able to stop, take stock, readjust, and regain my sense of self. You have shown me what it means to forgive, (but never forget...I'll never forget), forge on...and see myself as the wonderful, beautiful person I knew was there but who got lost in the shuffle.
Ok. Enough of the warm and fuzzies---AGREED, Canada did what it had to do, at a time when I needed SOMETHING to be done. No disputing this fact. But Canada, why hath you forsaken me now? YOU SUCK. I mean that with all my heart. You want the world to see you as a kinder, more gentle place to live...but in all actuality, you are no better than any other fairly developed country in the world. Greed, power, and the people to back it all up. You have let me down in so many ways---hypocrisy and deceit---very powerful words, yet so simple to use when describing what you really are.
Within your beauty, you have some very wonderful people who will always reside here. Some will leave, most will stay---but, at the end of the day, these are the people who I will always remember, with fond recollections of the fucked up lives we all had. Some of you will learn and get out before its too late. Some will remain hopelessly fucked up. It is because of you all that I was able to bring some sense into my own life; whether it was because of your foolishness or your own example. Either way, my life has been better because you have all been in it. I will always remember you.
Some of you I will continue to communicate with, but most of you will become small jewels of my memory. This is certainly by design, and not by circumstance. I think that the superficiality of some of the friendships I have had during my sentence...err..I mean time here in Canada bring me back to a place where I was not good, I was not healthy, I was not ME. I can only hope that our interlude has brightened your lives in some small way, and that you too will file me away as a good memory.
For those of you who I will remain in touch with---and I hope you know who you are at this point (because I'm not gonna start namin' names) please be patient with me. I am in a redirection phase of my life, new beginnings, new experiences, and new interests. Rekindling family ties, nurturing old friendships, and embarking on the most profound, life changing relationship with my past...I need time to settle, I will definitely need time to take a breath and realize my new surroundings. This is much more than just a job opportunity---I am coming home, after being away for so long. I do promise to let you all know how I am and what I'm doing---I love you all for reasons you all know.
Canada, I am not going to be sad to say goodbye to you. I do thank you for the abundance of life experience you have given me. Thank you for giving me space to heal. But---I bid you adieu.
I'm going to be smiling...and I will continue to eat all my veggies. Please be well and good luck with your lives. Hopefully, Canada, you will learn a thing or two from the people who are still here, who think you're all that and then some...I'll be keeping tabs on you, periodically checking in on you---we'll see. Prove me wrong, prove me right---the issue is a moot one, I suppose. Take care of the reasons why I will remember you.
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